He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
