I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
