barbara walters just said penis...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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