somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
