I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We need to rekindle our bromance
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
