Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
