my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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