whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
