My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
