I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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