He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
