Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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