his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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