Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think your dad took our porno
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
