I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Drake has all the answers
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
