They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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