she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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