You're so nebulous sometimes
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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