But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
