Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
