literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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