I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
should my penis look like a turkey
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
