I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
