Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
