who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
