Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
