brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
