I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fuck appropriateness.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
