Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize