I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
