I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
