where am i from again
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
