How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
