what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
