smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
