shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
