Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
