PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize