he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
