I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
