your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it's like iHOP with fire
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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