My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
