Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
