Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
