been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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