guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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