Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
