What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
