Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
