My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
