We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
