i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
