her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
