Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
