I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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