i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
