They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
