i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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