hotel room ftw
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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