they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
